Twenty-One and Old Leather
by SilverPen001
Summary: A one-shot about how Sam wants to spend his twenty-first birthday. No Wincest, only pairing is SamxJess. Also some cute feels about Sam and Dean's brotherhood awesomeness. R&R please.


**Hi! So a few disclaimers for starters: I don't own Supernatural. Sad, I know. I should. I have great ideas for it, but that privilege is reserved for others. Also, this takes place before season one, so it's a pre-series fic. It's basically cannon, I obviously have taken a few liberties with the story, but as near as I can think, the events and facts are cannon. It's set in 2004, the year before Supernatural starts. *Note, Brady(Sam's Stanford BFF) is in this story, already possessed.**

 **Please R &R, I'd love to hear from you.**

 **Enjoy the story.**

It was New Years, 2004 before Jess knew anything about _him_. Sam never spoke about his Past, except to make it clear it was an unwelcome subject. She knew the basics; Sam's birthday was May 2nd, his mother had passed before his first birthday,  
he had one older brother, he moved a lot as a kid, and he and his father almost never got along. But that was it. Sam's Past was off-limits in any conversation.

Jess tried to understand. Honestly, she did. Secretly, Jess suspected that John Winchester was an abusive douche-bag, and if Sam wasn't ready to share the details with her, well, she could respect leaving the past behind you. So she never asked. Occasionally,  
Sam would mention that he had lived for a while in an area, or share an experience from school about a teacher or a friend, but those memories were either solitary or, more likely, edited for familial content. As a consequence, Jessica Moore knew  
next to nothing about her boyfriend's family or Past. So she was appropriately surprised to hear him opening up to her now.

 _Earlier that night... New Years Eve, 2003..._

As they waited for the fireworks start and the LA ball to drop (New York's Ball had dropped an hour ago), the conversation turned to birthdays. Sam and Jess, along with their small group of close friends, were all turning twenty-one this year, and the  
prospect of being able to legally drink filled them with excitement. So as the small group of college students crowded around the TV in Sam and Jess' apartment, they sipped the last illegal beers of the year and dreamily discussed birthday plans.

"I want to do a shot challenge," declared Janie Barnes, Jessica's best friend since English Lit freshman year. The young, vibrant ginger was perched on the lap of her brunette studmuffin of the semester, Alec Miller. Alec nodded his own enthusiasm and  
suggested a few group drinking games.

"I think I'll buy an expensive wine and drain the bottle with my sister. She's twenty-four," Mali Kapoor informed the group. Mali and Sam had met in a computer tech class a year ago, quickly becoming fast friends in their respective circles.

" _I_ am going to get drunk and get laid," announced Brady. "And I don't care how or who."

Jess and the others laughed at Brady's words, but Sam could only muster a grin, his hazel eyes cutting curiously to his best friend. Jess noticed the worry in her boyfriend's gorgeous eyes and, in an attempt to wipe it away, voiced her own birthday wish.  
"I think, I just want to buy a few _good_ beers, and _good_ whiskeys, and _good_ wines and slowly drink them away."

Sam's eyes lightened and flicked to her. Her plan worked. Sam smiled and kissed her cheek. "That's a great idea, babe. I'll help." Sam widened his eyes at her innocence. "Maybe I'll get something out of it."

Flushing, Jess faced Sam more fully, pleased her plan was successful and determined to keep away his worry and sadness. "What about you, Sam? What do you want to do for your birthday this year?"

Jessica's words did not have the desired effect. Instead of brightening, the expressive hazel eyes darkened to nearly brown and Sam looked away, down to the beer he was nursing. Jess didn't understand what went wrong. "Sam?" she prodded gently.

"Um... I don't... I don't want to do anything, actually," Sam admitted softly.

Brady snorted in disbelief. "C'mon, Sammy-boy, you must wanna do something," he laughed. "Spill!"

"Don't call me 'Sammy', Brady," Sam sanpped. "And there's nothing to 'spill' because it's the truth! I've been drinking since I was basically seventeen, so it's not a big deal to me. and I don't want to do anything without-" Sam stopped abruptly, his  
fists clenching in anger and cheeks flush from alcohol and embarrassment.

"Without who, Sam?" Jess asked, truly curious. _Who could Sam miss that much from his Past? Is there a family member he's never told me about?_

"No one, forget about it."

"Sam-"

"Drop it, Jess." Sam's tone was final. Jess obliged him, and after an awkward pause, the conversation resumed and Sam's outburst seemed forgotten. But Jess kept a careful eye on her boyfriend all the rest of the night, waiting for the right moment to  
bring it back up.

 _Present time... New Years Day, 2004..._

Which is how Jess and Sam had ended up here. Jess had waited until after the ball dropped and Sam swept her up in a sensual kiss that left her wondering what her name was and why her friends hadn't left yet so it could go farther. She had waited until  
everyone had left the apartment, until the apartment was mostly clean. (She would have preferred to clean it totally, but Sam had pleaded with her to "Just leave it, Jess, please? It'll be there in the morning for both of us. Come to bed." And damn  
if those eyes didn't just kill her.) Jess had even waited until Sam pulled her up flush against him under the covers, legs intertwined and fingers interlocked, Sam's soft sigh of contentment ruffling her hair slightly. "Sam?"

Immediately, Sam tensed. Jess waited. Finally, a resigned sigh came from above her, a curse hidden in the exhale. "I don't want to talk about it, Jess."

"Too bad, so sad," Jess retorted, twisting around to face her handsome boyfriend. "Tell me what's up so I can fix it." Sam's eyes widened in surprise. He gazed at his beautiful girlfriend, her own eyes anxious- anxious to help him feel better. Distantly,  
Sam heard another voice, deeper and gruffer and frankly more loved than hers: _C'mon, Sammy, I can't fix it if I don't know what's broke._ Then the two voices together, _his_ fading out as hers overrode it, " _I just want you_ to  
be happy, Sam," Jess pleaded. Sam just continued to stare at her, suddenly desperately wishing it wasn't her there beside him. Jess met Sam's eyes steadily. The hazel she loved so much was clouded with an emotion she couldn't place.

She was almost convinced that Sam would remain silent, but as Jess opened her mouth to try again, Sam let out a bark of laughter and rolled onto his back, gazing up at the ceiling. "Dammit, you're just like him."

"Like who?" Jess asked, intrigued.

Sam closed his eyes, hands behind his head. "Dean." Sam coughed, his throat closing with emotion just from saying the name. "Dean," he repeated, stronger. "My brother."

Jess started to understand. "And your birthday wouldn't be complete without him?" Sam nodded. Jess considered this new information for a moment. "But why this birthday, specifically? I mean, it's never bothered you this much before, has it?" Sam shook  
his head. "So why now?"

"Because it's different this year." Sam opened his eye to glare at the ceiling. "This year, I'll be twenty-one. Legally allowed to go to bars and play pool and hit on chicks and all those things that people enjoy doing. That Dean enjoys doing." Sam paused  
and Jess stayed silent. "And Dean would consider it a... I don't know, a rite of passage or something into manhood for me to go to a bar and do all those things. And he would want to be the one to take me. Dean would see it as his responsibility to  
take me out and give me the 'time of my life' or something like that." Sam paused again. "And it just seems... _wrong_ to do it without him. Knowing him, he's probably had this birthday planned out for four years, ever since he turned twenty-one.  
"

"But-" Jess was confused. "It's your birthday. Shouldn't you do what YOU want?"

Sam just shook his head at her. "You're not understanding. That's just the evening part. See- Dean would spend all day doing little things to make me happy. He'd probably wake me up by jumping on me or tackling me, just to turn around and present me with  
my favorite coffee. Then he'd say something stupid to annoy me, like "Wake up, bitch" or "Happy birthday, Samantha", but he never means it. We'd drink our coffee of the bed; me back on the pillows with Dean sitting Indian style across from me, and  
I'd get all of his attention as he listened to me talk about whatever I wanted to talk about. When our coffee's done, he'd take the mugs to the sink and offer to do dishes as I shower first- which is a big deal to us, we used to fight about it all  
the time. When I come out of the shower, Dean'll have a bowl of Lucky Charms waiting for me to fix up, and he'll ruffle my hair as he goes by to shower, 'Only one bowl, Sammy, I mean it. Breakfast comes later.'" Sam deepened his voice to a gruff imitation  
of his brother. At least that's what Jess assumed. But she didn't interrupt to ask. Jess wondered if Sam had noticed that he switched his tense use from probable to definite. She didn't think he had. "He'll let me choose where we'll eat breakfast  
once he's dressed, and it'll be like that all day. Dean will let me make little, day-to-day choices all day- things that he usually chooses, like where to eat and what to listen to in the car. He'll give up making those decisions to give me more control  
over the day, because that's what I want. And if he's in a really good mood, he'll let me take the Impala for a spin, and he never lets anyone drive Baby. Dean'll probably keep me busy all morning and then let me choose where to eat lunch, and afterwards  
he'll let me choose a movie for us to watch together. He'll give me hell for every choice I make because he's my brother and he has to tease me, but that's also just his way of saying 'I love you' and 'Good choice, I'm proud of you.'" It was when  
Sam revealed that choice information, that Jess realized the amount of trust Sam was giving her- allowing her to see how much he missed and loved his brother, his only thought to make him happy and proud. Jess snuggled in closer to Sam as he continued.  
"It won't be until after I choose where to eat dinner that he'll drag me out to a bar, order us drinks, and tell the 'tender to 'Keep 'em comin' for my lightweight, little brother.' We'll play pool and kick ass at it and he'll make me flirt with some  
girls while he does the same. He'll threaten to ditch me for the Girl of the Hour, but his flirting is half-hearted and the threats are hollow and we both know there's no way he's leaving me for some chick on my birthday. Dean never leaves anyone,  
especially me. Besides, he'll wanna be there to tease and nurse me through the hangover the next morning." Sam's confession halted. It was silent for a few minutes, then Sam whispered softly, " That's what I want to do for my birthday, Jess. But it  
would only work with Dean. So I'd rather not celebrate if Dean's not there."

"Why don't you call him?" Jess suggested. "See if he can come out for a couple of days. We have the guest room-"

"No," denied Sam, shaking his head. "No, I can't call him. He probably doesn't want to talk to me. I walked out, I left him with Dad. He's probably so relieved I'm not there anymore- no one to clean up after, or care for, or fight for the shower, and  
no more fights to break up between me and Dad. Dean always got along with Dad so much better than I did. So, I can't call because Dean's probably finally happy. And... Dean deserves to be happy, Jess. He does. He deserves it more than anyone." Sam  
met Jess' gaze with and anxious one of his own, desperate for her to understand why he was denying his own happiness for his brothers. "He raised me when our dad was away and often when Dad was home, too. He taught me how to walk and tie my shoes  
and write my name and read my own books. Dean was- _is_ \- my whole world in a person. He's given up so much for me to be happy." Sam's eyes softened as he looked at Jess. "You'd love him, Jess. Everyone does. Dean's the most selfless, smartest,  
bravest person _ever_. He's like..." Sam searched desperately for words accurate enough to describe his big brother. "He's like... a leather jacket. Stiff and immovable at first, but after a few uses, he loosens up and adapts to fit you and  
becomes the most comfortable, _softest_ thing in the world. He's a teddy bear hidden under layers of leather." Jess saw the pure, unconditional love in Sam's eyes and tried to find it in her to be a little jealous of Dean, but it was impossible.  
Especially as Sam continued. "And Dean-" Sam cleared his throat. "Dean would love you, Jess."

"Really?" Jess asked, surprised by how much she wanted to be liked by this mysterious brother Sam clearly thought the world of.

Sam nodded enthusiastically. "Really. He'd tease you to death and flirt with you to annoy me, but he would love you because I love you, and you make me happy. So Dean would love you for that most of all. He loves anything that makes me happy." Sam's eyes  
became unfocused in memory.

Jess let him remember for another minute before gently prodding, "If Dean loves what makes you happy, why wouldn't he come out to see you if you called?"

Sam heaved a sigh. "It's hard to explain, Jess. Dean probably would come and come running, but... It's just, Dean lives for family, and turning your back on your family is like murder in the first degree to him, and that's exactly what I did. And I haven't  
contacted him since I left- Hell, we haven't spoken in nearly three years. He..." Sam trailed off miserably. "He probably hates me," he confessed turning away.

Jess' heart was breaking for her boyfriend. "Sam-"

"Good night, Jess," Sam said firmly. Jess kept quiet but thought hard all night. Around 4:38 in the morning, Jess finally fell asleep, her plan formulated in her mind.

 _Four months later... April, 2004..._

Sam sighed heavily as he walked up to the apartment he shared with Jess. Her words from New Years echoed in his mind. _Why don't you call him?_ Sam snorted. If only it were so simple. If Dean hadn't reached out, he didn't want to talk to Sam.

Sam just had to accept that. No matter how much it hurt to consider.

The youngest Winchester heaved another sigh, pulling out his keys. It was three weeks to his twenty-first birthday and he was starting to feel depressed. He missed his brother. He had really wanted- as long as he could remember- to spend this birthday  
with Dean. (Well, really he wanted to spend EVERY birthday with Dean, but this one in particular because he was positive that Dean had this one planned out to the last detail, ever since he'd had his first beer.)

Giving a final sigh, starting to feel like the emo chick Dean always teased him about being, Sam opened the door to the apartment and flicked on the lights. Walking into the living room, he spotted a brown bundle laying on top of the couch. Curious, Sam  
picked it up. Sam smiled brightly as he unfolded and recognized it. It was his old leather jacket. He hadn't worn it in coming on two years. Feeling nostalgic, Sam put it on, grinning stupidly. It still fit. It was then Sam spied the note that had  
been lying underneath the jacket. Sam picked it up and read,

 _Sam- I don't know what happened between you and Dean, but I do know that leather always retains the shape of the person who loved it the most. I'm sure the same hold true for your brother. Give him a call. You both deserve it. I love you!_

 _-Jess_

 _PS- When you call him, let him know that there's a spare key under the mat to the kitchen door for his use when ever he wants._

Sam grinned, pulling out his cell phone, already dialing and thanking God for such a wonderful girlfriend. Sam waited anxiously as the ringing started. There were three long, agonizing rings before suddenly they stopped and Sam heard the one voice he'd  
longed to hear from his past call him the one name he detested above all others, "Sammy?"

Sam sighed, this time in relief and euphoria. "Dean."

 **Whelp... that's all folks. Thanks for reading. Now please review!**

 **I'm hoping to put up a new story soon, also of the SPN fanfic variety, about Dean and Cas. It won't be Destiel (sorry) but it should still be really good bromance/friendship feels. It will be heavy on the Cas awesomeness because I love him, more than anything. (Name that episode, if you can.) Please follow/ favorite me if you're interested. School starts soon for me, and the first chapter isn't quite done yet, but once it is, everything else should follow relatively quickly.**

 **Have a great life!**


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